I have fairly high standards like I love to know where my food was grown and raised. I also used to be a perfectionist and thought being perfect meant succeeding (definitely wrong there)!
But these are not the same thing. High standards can be healthy & motivating. Perfectionism is about FEAR. Fear of failure, looking stupid, making a mistake, and just not being good enough (ALL of this is 100% not true by the way).
To be clear, everyone has these fear thoughts, but letting them take over your mind is paralyzing and self-abuse. I don't let my standard of knowing where my food is raised hold me back. I would never travel, eat out, and drive myself crazy!
We often stop ourselves from doing something new because we want to appear that we have our shit together (look perfect). We don't allow us space to be a beginner and try new things, and grow. We are robbing ourselves of joy and happiness when we let fear prevent us from trying something new.
Researchers Dr. Paul Hewitt and Dr. Gordon Flett published findings that perfectionism correlates with depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and other mental health disorders.
Perfection is harming harmful to our health, happiness, and productivity.
Good news is perfectionism is a way of thinking and can be changed without lowering your standards.
Here are a few ways to overcome perfection:
1) Start small and embrace that beginner mindset. Acknowledge that you will probably suck starting out, but with effort and hard work you will get better. Nobody starts out a pro. Please do not COMPARE. Use others accomplishments as inspiration and learn from them. I just recently finished a mountain biking skills clinic for beginners and I was the least experienced. I embraced that I was not that great starting out (terrible form, scared to do most trails, very slow), but I modeled my movements after the coach and used the others as inspiration-if they could do it so could I.
2) Progress trumps Perfection. Strive for progress, and expect the ups and downs. In one of my bike clinics I was feeling really good with berms (tight corner turns) and was like I am really getting this-LOOK AT ME! Then, next thing I know I go over the side of the berm and crash. Well, mentally that was a crush to my ego, but was still progress! I was out there doing it and learned from my mistake.
Focusing on progress puts us in a growth mindset vs. a fixed mindset, therefore you are focused on the learning, become productive and build resilience.
3) Plan ahead for problems-what could derail you from your goal? Make a backup plan for when not if those situations arise.
4) Expect self-doubt. It's a sign of progress and you are moving towards your goals. Ask yourself what is the right next move? I wanted to stop going to my last couple bike clinics because I was doubting myself and my abilities. I just told myself to show up and not put pressure on myself to do anything too hard, and I had so much and my confidence grew tremendously!
5) Have patience. How long is it going to take me to be a great mountain biker? As long as it does. I am in this for the long-term.
The most important thing you can do is THE WORK. By doing a lot of work, you will fight your way through the uncomfortable part of being a beginner, and less likely to quit too soon.
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